Roots for Radicals by Edward T. Chambers

Author:Edward T. Chambers
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc

Keeping Private and Public Straight

This analysis of two kinds of relationships comes down to one thing: understanding and respecting boundaries. As I said at the outset of this chapter, public and private are always in tension inside our skins; the trick is to learn not to mix them inappropriately—there are limits and boundaries. I want to be clear about which kinds of behavior are appropriate and necessary in relationships and why.

Clear thinking matters here, because IAF’s experience has taught us that most of the difficulties that broad-based organizations have reflect problems in the private lives of their leaders and organizers. The distinctions between private and public have been developed and taught during IAF national training over the past thirty years, and sometimes people go back home and apply the training in unexpected ways, with interesting results.

An irate call from San Antonio came into the IAF national headquarters for “Mr. Chambers.” When I got on the line, an angry voice said, “What are you teaching my wife in that training of yours? I didn’t want her to go in the first place, and now she says she’s not cooking every night unless some things change around here. What the hell are you guys you up to, anyway? I asked to speak with his wife. She said, “I’m doing an action on him, just like you taught us.” I explained to her that actions were for the opposition, not your husband. “Oh,” she said, “I’m very sorry. I’ll only use what you taught me in public.”

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